There is a little white folding chair in a little white room behind a little white wall that you do not want to sit in.

There are beautiful flowers you don’t want to see and kind words you don’t want to hear and tents and tissue boxes you don’t want to use.

There are mementos you never want to gather. There are military honors you plan for but hope to never see. There are bittersweet reunions and strangers and friends you’d rather not see.

Decisions happen quickly and permanently here. They are put down on paper, in a box, and sealed away.

You know the sun will rise again tomorrow, but you can’t feel it. You are numb…barely breathing.

Simple tasks stumble you, and simple tasks keep you going. There are still floors to clean, dishes to wash, and clothes to hang. Life goes on regardless of the pain you feel and sometimes that constancy is a propeller.

One moment you scream, the next you cry, the next you are happy and feeling guilty for it. It is a roller-coaster of emotions that make you feel crazy…but they are all normal.

You wait for the new normal now…the one post-loss, post-death, because nothing is the same as it should be or was.

There is a place you never want to go, a place you never want to see. It is the passing of someone you were close to and loved dearly.

You will never be ready for this.
There is no such thing as perfect timing for this, but it will happen to you.

I hope there is joy in your memories and hope in your future to see them again. In the end, that is all we have left.

May your faith in God grow strong and your home in Heaven brighter by those that goes before you through those Doors.

The Place Nobody Wants To Go

/ Rebecca J. Whitman / 9 Comments

9 thoughts on “The Place Nobody Wants To Go”

  3. Mall Brinson

    What stands out to me is the folded white chair and a white room. To me that is being alone in the world trying to figure out your purpose. This post is interested because I understand it to be sorrow of the moment of death, beautiful to the pain of a lost of something or someone you love.

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  5. I know all too well the feelings mentioned above. I experienced great loss of loved ones over the past 10 years and am still trying to find my way back to the closest version of me pre-loss. I doubt I will ever get there but I keep trying. That’s all any of us can do.

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    • I don’t think we do return to the way things were before. We have a sort of “new normal” after loss. All loss is painful, but it is also part of personal growth because we learn how to adapt and get through some of the hardest emotional lessons through them.

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